The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision. ~Hellen Keller~
Thursday, September 24, 2009
What Do You Want To Do With Your Life?
I have been asked this question nearly a million times and it’s really frustrating me. Everybody has to have some sort of answer to this question at one point or the other. And the fabulous answer that I have compiled after incessantly thinking about this: I have absolutely NO idea. Why should I? I'm merely a junior in high school, yet I still receive college letters everyday, as a constant reminder of the stress and anxiety that lay in the very near future. ACTS, SATS, and PSATS chew people up and spit them out. I refuse to be one of those people. Yes, we all know them. That one student who doesn’t seem to have a life outside of school and academics. That one student who also seems to always receive the best grades. That one student you’re jealous of when they are the only person in the class with an A. But if you really reflect on this, why should you be jealous? This student is surely dealing with loads of pressure and stress, definitely not the way I would want to live my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from a slacker. Doing well and getting good grades is extremely rewarding but occasionally, I feel like I do this for my parents and not for me. The reality that I'm leaving for college in 1.5 years still hasn't hit me yet, and when it does, I’m worried I will be one of those people with twenty majors. And this infamous question of "what do you want to do with your life" still haunts me everyday. I want to sing, I want to dance, I want to help people, and I want to be on Broadway. I want to be an architect, an astronaut and a psychiatrist. But most importantly, I want to be happy waking up every morning and going to work. Knowing that I’m doing something I love and that’s all that really matters in the end. Money is not an issue. I just want to be happy with myself and what I do. And if that means I’ll end up homeless. So be it. So all I’m trying to say in this long venting post is that I’m sick of all the pressure from my parents and from everyone to do well. I know I can do whatever I set my mind to, and when they keep forcing me to study and stuff it feels like they don't believe in me. They're also trying to force me into this medical career path, and I’m not saying there’s no chance I will do this, but I’m not sure yet. I can't see myself going to school that long. But like I said, I don't really care what career I end up in (yes, even if this displeases my parents) as long as I’m the happy and good person that I strive to be.
I am a total "people person". I can be quite shy at first, but once you get to know me, I won't shut up. I'm loud, crazy, energetic and passionate. I wish I had more confidence and self-esteem, I hardly ever feel beautiful. I love my friends and laughing. I never take anything too seriously. I fear rejection and the death of my loved ones. I fear that life is too short, and that I will miss out on the wonderful things life has to offer. Music makes me feel alive and Sum 41 is the best. I'm a complete romantic, and am a huge sucker for a romantic movie or show. I love Show Choir with all my heart, and couldn't imagine my life without it.